Garlic Cheese Gnibs

So, I’ve been experimenting with Parisian gnocchi. Not because I’m all that handy with a recipe, but because I like gnocchi and have a lot of flour. So, first things first: READ THIS WHOLE THING FIRST. BEFORE you start, it’s important to know just how difficult some of these steps are when you’re first trying it. Don’t get scrambled eggs like I did.

butter

flour

plenty of shredded cheese (I went with parmesan/asiago/romano mix… I think)

plenty of garlic powder

salt

eggs

parsley flakes

 

For reference’s sake, I ended up using 2 eggs and plenty of garlic powder and cheese in this.

 

Start by melting your butter on the stove in a pot. You want something you can easily stir a wooden spoon through, but not so small that it’ll be difficult to add to it later. Maybe a medium-sized pot would do you good.

Add flour, enough to essentially make a thick paste of butter and flour in the bottom of the pan. This should probably stick to your spoon but potentially still look slightly glossy, if you’re looking for perfect. It has to cook. NO EXCEPTIONS. Don’t know if it’s cooked yet? Leave it longer. If you’ve left it where the flour and butter are mixed together well and it’s on at least medium heat for 20 minutes, then you may be able to call it good. I dunno. I don’t know how long it should take to cook x amount of flour in y amount of butter over z amount of heat. Don’t bother with the specifics, just don’t undercook that flour.

You can add some of your cheese and garlic at this point to sort of help things stick together. If you want. I did… and the salt besides.

Here’s a very important part: REMOVE FROM HEAT. ALSO NO EXCEPTIONS. If the bottom of your pan is too hot when you add the eggs, you’re GOING to get scrambled eggs. In around 4 seconds or less. REMOVE. FROM. HEAT. And, no, you won’t be that special snowflake who can get away with not doing this because you’re fast. Just do what the recipe calls for and take it off the heating element. Does the bottom have to be ice-cold? Well, I dunno, are you super slow at mixing in eggs? If not, don’t worry about it being a certain temperature or less. Just make sure it’s, eh, as cool as if it’s been sitting on low for about an hour or two for that to cook and the pan gets pulled off the heat for about a minute or so. Not like anybody’s counting around here, or anything.

WHILE this is off the heat, you’ll want three things gathered before you can put them in (or one, if you’re one of those irritatingly picky types that actually pre-preps food into cute little bowls like the food network chefs… this, though, this is one of those times that would actually come in handy. As well as someone to hold the handle of your pan as you stir, but that isn’t in everybody’s luxuries, now is it). You’ll want your eggs, your trash can or whatever you put your eggshells in when you’re done (compost bucket, or in the case that you’re just not interested in moving whatever, someplace to put your eggshells), and a kitchen towel to wipe the goo off your fingers between eggs (because, ew).

WHILE your pan is off the heat, QUICKLY (I cannot stress enough that this will otherwise be scrambled eggs which DOES NOT equate to good gnocchi or good gnibs) add eggs- ONE at a time, though those people who pre-prep eggs into bowls can happily just add both their eggs at once I guess if they feel quick enough to get away with it. Stir in vigorously until incorporated. Think it’s stirred in? Keep stirring. Don’t think it’s stirred in? DEFINITELY keep stirring. Think it’s starting to coagulate? FASTER or else you’ll have to cut your losses on this batch. Might I add DON’T go for broke on your first try making this (experience talking), you’ll regret it.

NOW you can put your mix back on the heat. While stirring. With more cheese and garlic. I’m telling you, these things are amazing. If it takes you two hours like it did me, whatever, try it and you’ll understand.

 

You can pretty much leave it now. For a good five to ten minutes, even, if you want to. It’ll start to dry out, but that’s okay. If you leave it, just remember to break it up a little bit before eating it. You’ll thank yourself later. If you stay with it, just… I dunno, cook it until it’s starting to turn golden brown or something. You already pretty much know it’s done once that shine is gone from them.

 

Ever tried Parisian gnocchi? 😉

-the blogger

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